March 2012
3 posts
4 tags
So last night was Green Mountain College’s performance of The Vagina Monologues. Because GMC kids are totally badass though, they added other monologues. My sister, who performed “My Vagina was my Village,” called me a month or so ago and asked if she could also read something I had written a year or two back about asexuality. I said yes. It’s something I wrote for my...
1 tag
Brainy is the new sexy.: So I met someone else who... →
saneoldsameold:
duskandshiverrrr:
saneoldsameold:
dandelionroots:
I was working for this woman on her farm, and we ended up talking about politics/feminism/activism/etc after she found out I had majored in women’s studies. She mentioned that a lot of her friends call her a “man-hater” because she has no interest in dating or remarrying. She…
Oh so I met someone online who’s pretty much...
So I met someone else who IDs as asexual in real...
I was working for this woman on her farm, and we ended up talking about politics/feminism/activism/etc after she found out I had majored in women’s studies. She mentioned that a lot of her friends call her a “man-hater” because she has no interest in dating or remarrying. She said, “I tell them, I’m not gay, I’m not heterosexual, I’m asexual, I just...
January 2012
2 posts
6 tags
Dear Abby, Dear Abby, you won't believe this:...
DEAR ABBY: I am a very feminine 23-year-old woman who lives at home with my father. I am completely uninterested in getting married or having children now or in the future. I don’t believe it’s the end of the world to be a woman and not want children, but my dad and my grandmother act as though I’m abnormal. Dad says he blames himself for “failing to raise me right.”...
8 tags
In which I desperately hope for things that...
So, as probably most people on tumblr know, BBC’s Sherlock began its second season yesterday. It was very exciting all around. Many ships were sailed from every quarter. There was the usual bombardment of ‘Sherlock and John are clearly gay’ jokes, followed by the traditional denial by John. Sherlock was revealed to be a virgin. And someone who doesn’t even ship...
December 2011
4 posts
6 tags
Asexuality Hotline!
festeringfae answered: Oh hey I found one! It’s a US hotline called “Strictly Asexuality” 215-525-3595 in case you want to share
THANK YOU. This is awesome :) In case you need it, folks.
5 tags
ALSO
Does anyone have any/know where to find asexuality-related emergency resources? Like hotlines or anything?
2 tags
List of awesome ace-tastic tumblrs
These are just the ones I follow, and if anyone has suggestions, please add to the list!
cakeyeahasexuals
demisexuality
aceadmiral
writingfromfactorx
asexyquotes
acewatch
fuckyeahaces
I’m sure there’s more, I just have kinda been off the tumblr ace community radar recently, so add to the list?
December Asexy Linkspam →
November 2011
3 posts
7 tags
In defense of Taylor Swift: Why Virgin Shaming is...
Not so very long ago, I was sitting in the car with my mom, listening to the radio, and singing along like I do. When the song was over, my mom gave me an odd look and asked what I thought the song was about. I shrugged, and she said, “Well, because to me it’s about sex. So I was just wondering why you liked it.” And I just looked at her and said, “Pretty much every...
6 tags
In which I am a hairy beast: On body hair,...
Okay, so this is something I’ve wanted to talk about for a while, but never really got around to, and now I’m procrastinating NaNoWriMo stuff, so I figure it’s the opportune moment. Also it’s No Shave November, which is like every day of the year for me, so it’s like, relevant and shit.
So the two main kinds of hair I want to talk about are Hair on Your Head and...
lolololol I hate Glee
Especially when Glee talks about sex.
Filed under: Things that are relevant to this blog.
October 2011
8 posts
Perhaps I should use WTFromantic. With an...
I don’t know who I am, who I am without you
All I know is that I should
And I don’t know if I can stand another hand upon me
All I know is that I should
In my utter befuddlement over my romantic orientation, I think I want to just hash things out on here, because this is my Ace Safe Space, and I don’t know how to talk to anyone about these things in real life, but I do need...
Anonymous asked: As far as Criminal Minds, I ship Morgan/Garcia in a queerplatonic relationship.
2 tags
duskandshiverrr said: I’m so proud of you, love. <3 <3 <3
ellentumblr said: Did your mom know you were putting it on facebook? I’m so glad it’s not a secret anymore, ugh! I mean you see those people all the time haha Dusky: Thanks dear <3Ellen: Yeah, I gave her fair warning, although she insists now that she never told me to not tell them. But whatevsters haha.
3 tags
So, there was really nothing that happened because of my Facebook coming-out, which was a bit of a relief. As much as I try to be brave, I find it a bit exhausting to be constantly explaining/defending my sexuality/lack thereof.
A buncha people liked the status, mostly people who already knew. But also three cousins and an aunt who didn’t know (all my dad’s side of the family) but...
3 tags
Tomorrow is National Coming Out Day. In celebration, I’m putting “Asexual, Queer, and Proud!” as my Facebook status.
A tad nervous.
Possibly more to come if anything significant is a result.
1 tag
daavo said: then you are wrong becuase PRENTISS AND MORGAN FOREVA. but i think we can all agree that the hotch-rossi friend-ship and the morgan-garcia non-romantic-life-partner-ship are perfect.
I adore you, and yes, we can all agree on the ladder, but I am afraid I must insist that FRIENDSHIP IS THE BEST SHIP EVER TO SET SAIL! (I love you.)
1 tag
4 tags
My sister and her roommate got into a minor shipper war while I was visiting this weekend. It was about the show Criminal Minds — my sister ships Prentiss and Reid, her roommate ships Prentiss and Morgan.
And I’m just like
What if I just friend-ship everyone
what then
September 2011
9 posts
xmistresstitaniax asked: Thank you for you wonderfully stated rant about the chance Emma is asexual. I only learned about asexuality a few months ago, thanks Sherlock fandom. But once I did things just clicked in my brain. And watching the Ep1S3 of Glee I was getting really mad about how they are treating Emma, like she is broken for not wanting sex but wanting only romantic intimacy. Anyway, thank you for stating it in...
1 tag
Anonymous asked: This isn't an ask. I'm sorry. I'm really bad about not actually asking things. I just wanted to let you know that I find the things you post (and reblog) to be incredibly inspiring and lovely. I'm pan ace(or demi? not sure), too, and it's always so nice to feel that sense of comradery. I think you are a beautiful person. Thank you for sharing that beauty.
9 tags
How Glee Sneakily Pathologizes Asexuality; Or, I...
So if you are on tumblr, you probably know at least the basic premise of Glee, which is that it’s a television program that covers random songs and has no continuity and relies on the entertainment of the hyperbolic stereotyping of its two-dimensional characters. One such caricature is Emma Pillsbury, an incredibly neurotic guidance counselor, whose main neurosis revolves around an intense...
6 tags
Recently, my identity (of the romantic variety)...
So I (very) recently “got over” someone I had been purrrretttyyy much in love with since like the eighth grade. For anyone who doesn’t know me in real life, I’m nearly 21 years old, so, with my attachment to this kid, it’s been a minute.
Anyway, since I was at least partially romantically focused on this particular individual for the entirety of my adolescence, and...
4 tags
Word of the day: Queerplatonic
meloukhia:
An outgrowth of a conversation about aromantic orientations, and the desire to be able to define relationships that are not romantic, that are also not friendships, and that play an important role in your life. I think it’s time to turn this one loose into the wild. Use it well, use it widely. (If you identify with it, at any rate.)
Queerplatonic is a word for describing...
6 tags
Me: seduce her with your excellent baked goods!
Dusky: :D
Oh yeah
"Oh baby you know what I need" "A muffin?" "PRECISELY"
Me: abdkasjbfkjnvkgj YES
Dusky: If we were ace this would be the perfect stereotypical ace relationship
"Mm, oh, yes, baby, yes! Right there!" "FROSTING COMPLETE. CAKE TIME."
7 tags
Did you know that time more like a big ball of...
Which is relevant because Day Seven’s question is:
Who’s your favorite Doctor? Or, do you have a favorite asexual character?
Well, the obvious answer is David Tennant’s Tenth Doctor because I love him beyond all reason. But now I’m trying to think of other characters that are ace that I adore, but since there obviously aren’t many canon asexual characters out...
6 tags
Notes on Retail:
The next time a customer assumes that I’m straight/have a boyfriend (“Hurry up honey, she’s got a hot date tonight, you’ll have to explain to her boyfriend why she’s late” etc)
I’m just gonna fucking say
“Actually, my girlfriend is studying abroad in Trinidad right now.”
August 2011
10 posts
8 tags
Revised Ace Prom Invite 3.1
demisexuality:
There was a typo.
What: Ace Prom!
When: Friday September 9th, 2011. All day. Log in when you want/can and log out when you want/can. And if you can’t make it at all, you can still post things related to ace prom when you get a chance if you’d like.
Where: Tumblr, and wherever you physically blog from. You could even go some place you like (that you normally don’t blog from) to...
edgar-night said: Oh Rassilon I swear you’re me. D: Let me hug you. Unless you’re not a hugger, whereupon I shall pat you awkwardly on the shoulder and offer you comforting things.
<3 Thanks! I am such a cuddleslut hugger, so thank you.
5 tags
Yes, I'm talking to YOU
edgar-night:
emerald-ace:
I’ve been reading some stuff in the asexuality tag, and I’ve been thinking that some people need to hear this, so here goes.
You are NOT a burden, or a problem, or a disadvantage to the ace community. It does not matter if you all of the stereotypically asexual traits (but I’m perpetuating ace stereotypes!) or none of them (but people will think I’m not ace!). It...
5 tags
In which I present my own muddled opinion about...
So I have to admit, I was a little surprised at the overwhelming negativity of the responses when I asked how people felt about the word. I mean, I guess I shouldn’t have been — if I had really thought about it, I probably wouldn’t have been. But I didn’t really think about it?
Uh. Yeah.
‘Cause see, I like the word prude. I use it to describe myself often....
3 tags
Definition of "prude," according to Dictionary.com
prude (pruːd) — na person who affects or shows an excessively modest, prim, orproper attitude, esp regarding sex [C18: from French, from prudefemme, from Old French prodefemme respectable woman; see proud ]
Pokerf(ace): On "Prude": A Prelude →
More answers! Thanks!
foolishfiish:
dandelionroots:
(look I made a rhyme)
Thanks for your responses folks! I’m writing up something about my own experiences and interpretations of the word prude, which will hopefully go up tomorrow. In the meantime, I’m copy/pasting replies to here, mostly for an easier visual reference for me. If anyone wants to…
To me I don’t really like the word...
Pokerf(ace): On "Prude": A Prelude →
Another look at “prude.” Thanks!
kazaera:
dandelionroots:
(look I made a rhyme)
Thanks for your responses folks! I’m writing up something about my own experiences and interpretations of the word prude, which will hopefully go up tomorrow. In the meantime, I’m copy/pasting replies to here, mostly for an easier visual reference for me. If anyone wants to…
Hope you don’t mind me...
3 tags
On "Prude": A Prelude
(look I made a rhyme)
Thanks for your responses folks! I’m writing up something about my own experiences and interpretations of the word prude, which will hopefully go up tomorrow. In the meantime, I’m copy/pasting replies to here, mostly for an easier visual reference for me. If anyone wants to add anything, please do!
shaunsense answered: I really don’t like it. Looking back on...
4 tags
Just a thought...
It’s something I’m going to be writing about in the near future, but I’m curious as to how other folks — mostly ace-type folks — feel about the word prude?
Anonymous asked: This is the anon from before, with the question about the friend: Thank you very much for offering me you're opinion, it really means a lot. It was very helpful-- and I completely agree that labels can be helpful, especially when you feel like you're alone, and labels can help you identify yourself. Basically what I was trying to say with that was that obviously, no matter what I'd...
July 2011
26 posts
violentopposites said: Repulsed asexuals aren’t necessarily afraid of sex, which is the definition of erotophobia (plus, phobias are anxiety disorders and must meet criteria to be diagnosed: see wikipedia on phobias.) Repulsed asexuals might just think sex is gross.
Thank you for articulating that for me!
I Don't Trust You
writingfromfactorx:
You know what? I don’t think I even have a safe space to be asexual in, not any more. I love, so hard how these people keep talking about how we are destroying their safe spaces by fucking existing and maybe using a word to describe ourselves that they don’t want to share, and yet they come into one of our desperately few places for us—one of the tiny, limited, Internet-only...
Ace Admiral: raumlet: Invisibility is oppression!... →
raumlet:
Invisibility is oppression! - unless you’re asexual.
Having to explain or defend your sexuality is oppression! - unless you’re asexual.
Being told “how do you know if you haven’t done x” is oppression! - unless you’re asexual.
Corrective rape is oppression! - unless you’re…
Anonymous asked: Hi! I hope this isn't an ignorant question, because the last thing I wish to be is offensive, but I was wondering: could you possibly explain what the difference between asexuality and erotophobia is? My understanding is that asexuality refers to people without a sex drive, whereas erotophobia refers to those with a sex drive who have a fear of sex, but there's also "repulsed"...
Anonymous asked: You know, if you are really repulsed that much by sex...you may need help. Crying and throwing up is not a normal reaction.
7 tags
Days are really an arbitrary measure of time
So when I say this is Day Six, I want you to believe that in some universe, by some measure of time, it really really is.
Woo.
Have you ever faced oppression because of your asexuality, whether institutional or societal?
Well then. Hmm. Tough question I guess, thought I s’pose the short and simple answer is basically yes.
I mean, I’ve been so entirely lucky, in my family and my...
2 tags
So uh
I had to take a break from my regular tumblr cuz there’s just a lot of sex on my dash right now for some reason and it’s kinda freaking me out. But taking a break from tumblr is silly, so I’m on my lovely safe tumlr. Yayyyy!
6 tags
Why sleep when I can manipulate time and make this...
Tell the story of the first person you came out to.
Well. Hmm. This one’s a toughie. By the time I discovered asexuality was a legitimate thing, I had been using the word jokingly for months with M and R, and had told them quite a bit about my feelings towards sex and about sexual attraction. And I think they were probably worried about me, but they were kind and awesome and funny and...
stickthemwiththepointyend said: panromantic asexual really is a mouthful. and then you gotta explain what the hell you mean. at least I do. and then I gotta defend asexuality. it’s fun
Exactly! So queer sometimes is easier. If it feels slightly less accurate, so be it.
7 tags
And many days later, the sun rose once more and it...
Remember that 30 Day Asexuality Challenge? Suddenly, so do I!
Do you identify as a part of the queer community? What communities do you identify with?
Well hmm. The answer to this has been changing recently. I used to not want to call myself queer because I feel like, in the wider cultural context at least, the word implies some degree of being sexual. And I’m not. So I didn’t...